Final Fantasy VIII - Localisation Review (10)

This is an entry in a series of posts looking at the localisation of the beginning segment of the game, Final Fantasy VIII. You can find the first post here. Thanks for reading!

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	Japanese	English
Zell 1	あ、おい……またやられた～！お得意の個人行動～	H-Hey!!! Not again, man! There goes Mr. Ego...

1. I was intrigued by the Japanese source for "Mr. Ego." It is otokui no kojinkoudou (お得意の個人行動) which can be broken down as individualistic behavior that is his (i.e. Seifer's) forte/specialty. A quick Google search for this term reveals results only related to Final Fantasy VIII, so this is presumably an uncommon turn of phrase in Japanese. As for its translation, I think "Mr. Ego" is fantastic; it's not at all unnatural but perfectly conveys the intended meaning of the Japanese that Seifer is someone always behaves in a self-centred manner. I doubt I would've been able to produce such a smooth and concise translation. I probably would've offered something like, "H-H-HEY!!! REALLY!? AGAIN!? How is always so self-absorbed!?"

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	Japanese	English
Cid	たった今、ドール公国から情報が入ったんですよ。電波塔を整備して発信可能にしておくという条件でガルバディア軍は撤退したそうです	We've just received word from the Dollet Dukedom. The Galbadian Army has agreed to withdraw as long as the communication tower is repaired and the uplink remains operational.
Xu 2	う～ん、まぁ、何はともあれガルバディアは撤退しちゃったってわけか。もう少し暴れてくれればＳｅｅＤの出番も増えてお金を稼げたのにねえ」	Well, in any case, Galbadia is out of there. We could've made more money if they'd stayed and caused more ruckus.

2. Xu's second sentence in Japanese makes her appear slightly more mercenary than her English translation. Her Japanese literally reads, "If only they'd run a little wilder the SeeDs would've been involved more and we could've made more money." The game's translation raises multiple points of discussion. First, the Japanese doesn't contain any reference to Galbadian staying in place. Second, I don't think "cause ruckus" is a natural fit for the context. Xu is talking about the Galbadian army's assault on Dollet. The game's narrative says that the two sides fought for 49 hours, after which Dollet troops fled to the mountain. Given this context, it seems far too offhand to say that the Galbadian army was causing a ruckus. The Japanese stems from is abareru (暴れる), which means to act violently or be in a rage. The ALC dictionary does suggest a translation of "create a ruckus," and though there are occasions when this would fit the occasion, I don't think it does here.

While the previous paragraph's points are relatively minor, there are two larger points of discussion in terms of how Xu's remarks come off in English compared to the Japanese original. First, attached to the end of the verb meaning "to run wild" or "cause a ruckus" is the verb kureru, which is used when someone does something for you or does you a favour. This shows that Xu feels that the Galbadian army would've done her/the Garden a favour if they had caused more havoc. This sentiment is entirely absent from the English. The second matter of note is how Xu ends her sentence with noninee. In this context, this is an expression of desire, and is a grammar point often translated by making the English start with "I wish" or "If only." These two points show that Xu wishes that the Galbadian army had caused more trouble so more money could've been made. The English sounds very neutral, as if Xu is simply stating the facts. I think a preferable translation would be something along the lines of, "If only the Galbadian army had wreaked a little more havoc, we could've deployed more SeeDs and made a lot more money."

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	Japanese	English
Seifer 3	聞いたか？ 電波塔のこと。撤収命令さえなければ、俺たちは今ごろドールのやつらから感謝されてたのにな。	D'you hear about the communication tower in Dollet? We would've been heroes if it weren't for that withdraw order.
Quistis 4	あなた、なにも考えてなかったでしょ？ 暴れたかっただけのくせに。	You were only looking for a fight.
Seifer 5	……先生。そういう決めつけが生徒のやる気をなくすんだ。半人前の教官にはわからないかもしれないけどな。	My dear instructor. I'm hurt. Those are rather cruel words for an aspiring student. A mediocre instructor like you will never understand.

3. I think Seifer's use of the word "heroes" in the final sentence of the English portrays Seifer in a more egotistical manner then the Japanese. In that version, he says, "If it hadn't been for the withdrawal order then right now we would be being thanked by the Dollet people." There is a big difference between claiming that you would've been a hero versus claiming that you would be being thanked. The former sounds far more self-centred and strays from the impression he gives off in the Japanese. I would prefer a literal translation akin to what I offered at the start of this paragraph, although to make that more natural I would change "the Dollet people" to "Dollet officials." Since Seifer uses the term yatsura (meaning "those people") it's hard to determine exactly who he is referring, especially as this is the opening line of a conversation. However, I think it makes more logical sense that he is referring to the officials (who hired them for the mission) rather than the townsfolk of Dollet.

4. The English lacks some of the information of the Japanese. First of all, Quistis says, "You weren't thinking at all, were you?" I see no reason for why this part deserves omission. It doesn't change the sentiment of Quistis' dialogue, but it does nonetheless add extra emphasis. Her next sentence lines up with the English, "You just wanted to run wild." Note that she uses the same verb abareru (暴れる) as mentioned in the second point of this post. Here, I think "Looking for a fight" is a much more fitting translation, and superior to a typical translation of the verb. Incidentally, I think in this case, "cause a ruckus" would also be appropriate. It's worth noting that Quistis' Japanese ends with the grammar point kuseni. To qoute the great Japanese grammar site maggiesensei.com:

We use くせに when we accuse/tease/criticize someone. It shows a speaker’s contempt, dissatisfaction. Though it is not a bad word and you hear it often in conversation, you should be careful who you use it with and when to use it.

It's a piece of grammar that I feel doesn't have an exact English equivalent. In this context it seems that the translator chose to overlook this grammar point instead of trying to come up with a way to convey the extra criticism present in Quistis' Japanese. I racked my own brain for a way to include this sentiment in a natural way, but I unfortunately couldn't come up with anything. Can you?

5. Seifer's Japanese is fairly different from the Japanese, which literally reads, "...Teacher. Such scolding destroys a student's enthusiasm. Though that might be something a half-baked instructor wouldn't understand." Although such a literal translation sounds fairly stilted, it underlines the freedom of the English translation, so let's analyse it sentence by sentence!

First, I like the translation of "my dear instructor." In the Japanese, Seifer uses the honorific term sensei (先生) to refer to Quistis. Given the preceding ellipses and the overall content of Seifer's dialogue, it seems very likely that he referred to Quistis like this in a sarcastic manner, hence why the English translation fits so well. The English also piles on some extra sarcasm that is absent from the Japanese with "I'm hurt." I don't think was particularly necessary, but it does no harm.

Next comes Seifer's criticism of Quistis, in which the English adds in two adjectives to the lone nouns of the Japanese. The first, "cruel words" is a lovely translation of kimetsuke (決めつけ), a noun that means, "a harsh scolding." The second, "aspiring student" is more interesting. A first I thought this strayed from the Japanese, in which Seifer say Quistis' remarks would destroy a student's enthusiasm. However, if you think about it, a student with enthusiasm can easily be described as an aspiring student, right? Moreover, if cruel words were directed at such a student, it would likely dampen their enthusiasm, don't you think? This is why think the translation is wonderful!

Seifer's last sentence is the most curious part of the translation. It makes the most severe part of the Japanese lighter, and the lighter part of the Japanese more severe. In regard to the former, in the Japanese Seifer calls Quistis a hanninmae no kyougi (半人前の教官). In my initial literal translation of Seifer's dialogue, I expressed this as "half-baked instructor" but this is not adequate. Hanninmae has the literal meaning of being "half a man" i.e. not a proper person. It is a fairly severe term, and one that English translation of "mediocre" does not do justice. I would suggest "poor excuse for an instructor" as an alternative to match the harshness of the Japanese. I initially thought to use the word pathetic instead of poor, but I worried this might be too strong. Regardless, as a contrast, this harshness however doesn't carry into the second half of the Japanese. Seifer adds the sarcastic caveat that a poor quality instructor (i.e. Quistis) may not understand what he said (that her previous remarks would dampen a student's enthusiasm). The English translation has two points of discussion. First, I don't think the English adequately conveys that Seifer is referring to this prior remark. I think this could be simply remedied by adding a "though" at the start of the sentence, to better anchor it to his previous sentence. Second, the English makes Seifer's remark a far more definitive statement, that Quistis "will never understand." I think this could also easily be remedied by making it, "may never understand." This would make the whole sentence read, "Although this is something that a poor excuse for a instructor may never understand."

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Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts on the above points or Final Fantasy VIII's localisation as a whole, so please comment if you've got something to say. 

If you enjoyed this post, I bet you'll like the next post in this series:
http://www.localireview.com/2015/05/final-fantasy-viii-localisation-review_11.html